There is no way to spot an abuser in a crowd, but most abusers share some common characteristics. Some of the subtle warning signs include:

  • They insist on moving quickly into a relationship.

  • They can be very charming and may seem too good to be true.
  • They insist that you stop participating in leisure activities or spending time with family and friends.

  • They are extremely jealous or controlling.

  • They do not take responsibility for their actions and blame others for everything that goes wrong.

  • They criticise their partner’s appearance and make frequent put downs.

  • Their words and actions don’t match.

Any one of these behaviors may not indicate abusive actions, but it’s important to know the red flags and take time to explore them.

Domestic Violence Resource Center. http://www.dvrc-or.org/